Trails of the lost

I hate titles

2007-07-10T02:18:41Z

I just got on here to say that I am absolutely in love with my Brittany. She is truly The Awesome. I love you sweetums.

Dreaming

2007-06-26T20:40:16Z

What a day. Everything seems like a dream. It's just so weired. I feel numb. If you haven't all ready heard. Wrestler Chris Benoit, his wife, and 7 year old son were found dead in there home in Atlant. Are you kidding me. Is this for real. Unfortunatly it is real. I really don't know how to comment on this. I just don't know anything right now.

what the hell is a gulch anyway???

2007-05-31T20:20:22Z

From Wikipedia:

A gulch is a deep V-shaped valley formed by erosion. It may contain a small stream or dry creek bed and is usually larger in size than a gully. Occasionally, sudden intense rainfall may produce flash floods in the area of the gulch.

Fucking up is an art form

2007-05-17T20:51:37Z

Man, I tell you that I just feel like I've been fucking up hard core latley. I feel like I'm just not doing anything right. I try to help people as much as i can and then I feel that i piss someone else off in the process. I guess that old saying is true, you can't make everyone happy.

Britt. and I moved into the new place a few weeks ago. I love living with her. Even though money seems to be stressing her out, i try my best to assure her that we are doing fine. And we are doing fine by the way. And hopefully we will be doing better soon. I know we will. As long as we stick together there aint nothin that can stop us. O.k. I guess i better get back to work. Talk to you guys later. Bye.

I could drop untill I touch the sinster side

2007-04-20T02:59:39Z

So it's been a while since i last posted. Things have been going very well. Britt. and I went to see my parents last weekend and all was good. Minimul bitching from my parents which is always good. My birthday is in 2 hours. I turn 27. Crazy shit. every year i reflect on what has happened since my last birthday and this year is no exception. I'm just nostalgic that way i guess. I remember the good times and the bad times. The highs and lows. I'm riding really high right now and i hope it doesn't end.

Got the horror show this weekend. After that i can rest easy for a while. untill the ann. show that is. Been working a lot. today is my 3rd consecutive 12 hour day and tomarow i have a 10 hour day. Not too shabby. anyway, hope everyone is doing well. Talk to you guys later

I could climb untill I reach where angels reside

2007-04-04T02:01:32Z

So Wrestlmania was awesome on Sunday. Many thanks the Brittany's parents for letting us watch it at there house. I know I haven't posted in a while so now i am. Things have been going really well. Brittany and I went to Wimberly last weekend for a mini vacation and we had a lot of fun. My b-day is 17 days away. I'll be 27. Hooray. I played God of War last night for 7 hours and i still haven't beaten it yet. I am addicted. Anyway, hope everyone is doing well. Take care everyone.

On skinned knees you crawl

2007-03-15T20:48:27Z

Well, it's been a while since i posted last, so i figured i would post something. It's been a weired couple of days. One of Brittany's friends past away and I'm just trying to be there for her. I never really know what to say when someone is down but i try to just be there and hope i make her feel better. St. Patty's day is Saturday. Hooray. After a busy weekend two weeks ago and last weekend being really laid back, it's kinda nice to sort of split it this weekend. Saturday is gonna be busy with us running around and such and Sunday, i beleive, is going to be lazy dayz. Anyway, hope everyone is doing well and everything. Bye, bye

Angel

2007-03-05T22:13:41Z

Sorry this post coulnd't be longer but I'm at work and actually pretty busy. But I just had to let everyone know that Brittany and I are in a relationship together. We started going out this weekend and I am extremely happy. Probablly more than I let on but I am so happy, you guys just don't have any idea and these words on the screen don't do it justice. So yeah, hooray for me. I always used to say that I knew that I would have to walk through hell to get to heaven and let me just say that it's good to be home.

and of the 3

2007-03-02T11:37:42Z

You scored as Werewolf. The fool moon has risen and now it is time for the werewolf inside to come out and feast on it's prey, whatever that might be.

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Werewolf

90%

Zombies

55%

Vampire

48%

Are you a Zombie, Vampire, or Werewolf???
created with QuizFarm.com

To those that I love and have loved

2007-02-28T10:19:12Z

It seems sometimes that you can never forget the past. It creeps up on you one day and you just remember the memories (both good and bad) that have shaped the person that you have become. Tonight I am feeling extremely nestalgic. Remembering times that once were. Remembering people that have come into my life and made a dramatic impact. I have realised recently that, as morbid as it sounds, if I would die tomarow, that the greatest thing I could ever do is to have made life better for people. To have touched some one's life in a way that they will remember me and the time they spent with me forever. I thought about this and thought about the people who hold a very special place in my heart. I think it's time for a list by god.

Shannon - Even though our time has come and gone, I look back on it with a smile. It was a great time in my life that you and i had shared. You probablly ment more to me than you will ever know. I wish that you and I could have as strong a friendship as we had a relashionship together. You mean the world to me and I wish we were closer as friends than we are now. I think we would be unstopable as buddies, comrads, or just plain friends. You hold a special place in my heart that will never shrink or decay. You rule. You are one of the only people on this planet that I look up too. I think about you a lot and wish that we were closer than we are. If there was anyone that I would want to walk through hell with, it would be you.

Bobbi - What a ride you and I have had but in the end we came out smelling like roses. It's weired to think of my life without you in it. You are trully my best friend. We have trully had our ups and downs but i think we've done pretty well. It's weired to think that I've known you for almost 3 years but it hasn't been since the last year or so that you and I have actually been close. You are my tag team partner & fellow DX member. I think of you more like family than a friend. That's why I've reserved the best man spot when ever I get married to you. No matter if I piss you off or if you piss me off, I know that we will always be close. YOU ARE MY FAMILY.

Brittany - Speaking of wild rides. We deffinatly have been through a lot of shit together but have come up clean as a whistle. There has never been a truer friendship than the one that I have with you. We have been up and down that road and I can't think of a future without you in it in some copasity. You are one of the sweatest people I know. You and your family is something that i wish i had. You are all so loving and caring and treat me like one of your own. You have shown me a kindness that I have never felt before. I have realized that you, no matter what, have and will always be there for me. That is something i pride myself on, being there for people no matter what and you tought me that. That no matter what, you always are there for people that you care about. I love you sunshine.

Frances - I met you a week after I moved to Austin. Six fucking years later, we still hang around each other. Out of all the fucking people in this world you know me the best. There aint one damn minute that we have spent together that i would give back. I am always there for you. Shit i married you for christ sakes. You mean a lot to me kiddo and there aint nothing i can write down that i haven't all ready done for you to show you how much i love and care about you. You are always my #1.

Summer - I had to take a long smoke break to think about what I was going to write about you. You know that I am always here for you and will always be here for you. That will never change. You are such an importnat person to me and I hope that one day you and I will come to terms with the struggles that face us at this point in our lives. The only thing I can hope to offer you is a wisdom and comfort during this time. We spent a lot of time together and i regret none of it. You will always hold a special place in my heart. I just wish that you could see the greatness in youreslf that I see. You are the purest person I know. You are so much like me that it's scary. I love you and I always will. No matter what happens in this life, I know that you and I will always be able to count on the other for love and support. You are my wiggles and that will never change.

Xavier - My brown brother. I know that you and I have few memorie behind us and so many in front of us. You are the person that I can talk to that I feel most comfortable. I don't know what's gonna happen in this life but I know that you are one of my favorite people and we will always have a bond that nothing can break (unless you screw me over hardcore) I love you and aint nothin gonna change that. You have the path of happiness in front of you, you just have to choose to walk down it and when you do, I will be there, telling you that you are awesome.

I love each and everyone of you. You people have shaped my life in more ways than you know. DUECE!!!

Not again.

2007-02-28T01:04:40Z

So I got bitched out (not really) about having things on the other test like what is my favorite this or that and we all know i change my mind a lot so here is another test that doesn't have all that shit. Oh yeah, and it's really hard. MUHAHAHAHA.

Create your own Friend Quiz here

It's testing time

2007-02-26T23:38:00Z

Create your own Friend Quiz here

Dirt

2007-02-23T00:18:30Z

My mind is totally fried. I'm so confused, I don't know what to do about anything. It feels like I'm shutting down, which would be bad but i don't know what to do. It feels like i keep hitting the same brick wall over and over and my mind is screaming "STOP DOING THIS" but i don't know how. It feels like everything i am doing is wrong. I feel like dirt. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know anything right now.

Alice in Chains - Dirt

I have never felt such frustration
Or lack of self control
I want you to kill me
And dig me under, I wanna live no more

One who doesn't care is one who shouldn't be
I've tried to hide myself from what is
Wrong for me
For me

I want to taste dirty, stinging pistol
In my mouth, on my tongue
I want you to scrape me from the walls
And go crazy like you've made me

You, you are so special
You have the talent to
Make feel like dirt
And you, you use your
Talent to dig me under
And cover me with dirt

Fried

2007-02-21T21:56:20Z

Well, it's been a week since I've updated so i figure i should. I have a lot of shit on my mind. There is something that i want to do but there is this other thing i want to do to. Wow, that makes no sence what so ever but if i could tell you i would. Actually there's only two people in the world that would have any idea of what i might be talking about. Sorry, if this post doesn't make any sence but I'm just confused and in a really bad fucking mood today. I need to unload and i can't. this sucks.

I think i might be coming down with something. I feel tired all the time and weak and just plain lousy. I don't know. Anyway, hope everyone is doing well. If you aint doin' nothin' then give me a call at work. If i don't answer, then try the cell.

and now i leave you with a this tasty little quote.

"Long is the way, and hard, that out of hell leads up to light."

One Day

2007-02-14T21:14:24Z

So, today is Valentines Day....a day of love and for lovers...this is your day. I love Valentines Day because as we all know, I am the romantic type. All my love goes out to all my ladies out there and to the rest of my peeps. Much love for all of you. If it seems that I am a bit happier today than normal, it is because do feel better. I've started my "recovery" time and i added to a poem that I wrote that i will share with you. I can't put the entire poem here because, i don't remember all of it but i know someone out there has the first part, well here is something that i am adding at the end.

One day I woke up from the dream I was dreamin'
And I looked at the life I was livin'
I finally found what I was missin'
when I saw the beauty this earth was showin'

So there you go. A little optimism from me to you. I hope all my peeps are doing well today. There's a great huge world out there so don't ever think that your room, your house, your job, or your mind is the only thing in your world. Just look up at the sky and see the blue. And at night look up and see the stars. There's more to life than what is around you at this time. Life is a journey, not a destination.

Kevin.....The Ladies Man???

2007-02-06T21:33:09Z

So a week from today (Wendsday) is Valentines Day. This happens to be one of my favorite holidays. I think it's because I'm a hopeless romantic. It's odd that this would be one of my favorites, seeing as though since I started my run in the dating world when i was 17, I have only had a girlfriend on only 3 Valintines Days. All with the same person. But it seems that no matter how bitter I am at the world or how full of rage I have inside, I will be enjoying this Valintines Day. And I have something special for all of my ladies this weekend. So hopefully I will see you either at Brittany's party or at the show so I can give you my suprise.

XOXOXOXO

Another Monday

2007-02-05T23:03:38Z

You know, it sucks that you can't write what you feel on these damn things for fear of backlash that would ultimately come. So much shit is going through my mind right now. I can't separate it all out and it's just a jumbled mess in my mind. I sometimes feel that there isn't really anyone i can talk to because of the fact that it would get back to this person or that person and it's just me letting everything out so that i would feel better. But it would, like i said, get back to this person or that person and then the shit would hit the fan. I just need to vent and i can't do that. I've kept most of what is inside there, inside. I don't want to piss people off and i don't want to make people feel bad, so i guess, like i've done so many times before, i fight this battle alone.

Quotes

2007-02-02T22:26:39Z

"You only have the burdens on you that you choose to put there." - Brandon Lee

"The greatest battles are fought from whithin." - Unkown

"The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering." - Bruce Lee

"I think that computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image." - Stephen Hawking

"You treat me like a dog and you expect me to smile? You remind me of a jack ass." - Stone Cold Steve Austin

problems

2007-01-31T01:30:03Z

So, I'm writing this story about this guy who has dreams of alternate universes and the belief that he can travel through each alternate reality every time he falls asleep. But now I have a problem of what happens to the him in the other reality. Can he do the same thing? Does he even notice? Because eventually through the enormous amount of alternate universes one of him would eventually get bumped into non-existence. I'm trying to write this and have some merit of reality to it. I've been studying physics, multiverses, quantum physics, black holes, the chaos theory along with other theories and so forth. My head hurts.

Anyway, I'm at work doin' nothin. If you have a free minute, you should call me.

Never give up

2007-01-30T01:29:35Z

Usually, I hate it when people post song lyrics, but I've been listening to this song all day and it helps me feel better and to never give up. I encourage everyone to download this song or buy the albumn.

Alter Bridge - Metalingus

I've been defeated and brought down
Dropped to my knees when hope ran out
The time has come to change my ways

I'll never long for what might have been
Regret won't waste my life again
I won't look back I'll fight to remain:

On this day I see clearly everything has come to life
A bitter place and a broken dream
And we'll leave it all, leave it all behind

On this day its so real to me
Everything has come to life
Another chance to chase a dream
Another chance to feel
Chance to feel alive

Fear will kill me, all I could be
Lift these sorrows
Let me breathe, could you set me free
Could you set me free

And here is something else that I read that I loved and thought it was cool:

As your will is bent and broken
and every vision has been cast into the wind
as your courage crashes down before your eyes
don't lay down and die

'Cause I see in you
More than you'll ever know
And I ask you, "Why you question the strength inside?"
And you need to know
How it feels to be alive

When every wound has been re-opened
And in this world of give and take, you must have faith
And the distance to your dreams stretch beyond reach
Don't lay down and die

funny quote

2007-01-30T00:34:43Z

It’s George Romero’s world; we’re just mindlessly shambling through it.

Ask and ye shall receive

2007-01-25T21:21:45Z

So, I was just informed not 5 minutes ago that I will be returning to the darkness of the night shift. Hooray. I start on Monday. It will be a 3-11 shift. I love working nights cause I am alone all the time and can basically do whatever I want for eight hours. There are no managers and no one to bug me. Yeppee.

The 5th Element

2007-01-24T17:45:00Z

i had a dream the other night that Mr. Kennedy was going out with my mom. Mr. Kennedy is one of my favorite wreslters if you didn't know. Weired, right? I keep having really odd dreams. I think it's because of the pills. Bobbi and Tre said I should probobly start taking herbal pills instead. Might be a good idea. Just gotta get my hands on 'em though. We watched this movie last night called "Sickgirl" by "May" director Lucky Mcgee. It was awesome. Gonna go over to Frances' place tonight and then to Summer's. So how 'bout that weather we are having. I don't mind the rain but the cold is kicking my ass. As most of you know, I am a warm weather person. I don't have anything against the cold mind you, but I really don't have much in the area of winter clothes. Anyway, take care all. Be warm and be safe out there on the road.

Kevin

My forutne

2007-01-22T17:17:22Z

Commitment is what turns a promise into reality.

I've been carrying around this saying since Saturday afternoon. I got it in one of those fortune cookies when we all went to that Chinese Buffet on William Cannon and 35. It's weired, but i've been noticing things pointing me into one direction. I have still held true (as I always will) to my promise of commitment, but what reality will come of it? I guess we will see.

It was great to see the Bastards this weekend. I had a lot of fun. The show went really well, even though I was noticably off. A couple people comminted that I didn't have that spark I usually have. Stevo and I talked after the show and once again he shows his awesomeness. After the show, I was drained and hurting so I just went back home while everyone else went to Kerby Lane. Which was good I think cause they didn't get home untill around 5:30 or 6. Sunday, I just kicked around and was lazy and said good-bye to everyone. It was a good weekend and I despertally needed to laugh and be with friends.

I dread this week. Wendsday is the 24th. I'm gonna see if I can go up north that day and see my peeps.

Much love to everyone and hope you are all doing well.

A moment of clarity

2007-01-19T16:14:51Z

I was planning on doing something very selfesh and today i realized that in the end it would have hurt more people than easing my pain. Yesturday was a fifty fifty day. It was good and bad. I broke down and almost lost it but in the end held it together long enough to get through the day. I thought a lot and today i sorted it all out and I feel so much better. I am able to have a clear mind and trully think of what is going on. Moments of clarity are good.